victory!

Ah, I can victoriously say that between my last attempt to procrastinate and now (see last post) was a really short time lapse. Not only did I make a few more posts for the kids' blogs but I even finished my main outline for the talk--that was the major anxiety point. And what exactly I was anxious over? I have no idea. But I just decided that I needed to pick the thought and go with it. And ta-da! I'm off to bed.

And why am I doing all this after all? I decided that I really enjoy the experience of speaking. I don't really take issue or get too anxious about the delivery of the message, it seems. I think I got over that after teaching in East Asia for a year. I think it was 8 classes a week = 8 hours of trying to make conversational english and writing interesting to those who have no interest in the subject. It wasn't hard, and it helped me get over my fear of rambling in front of people. I may still ramble, but I will more likely read the audience and "insert humour" more readily now. I got over the fear of making a fool out of myself. Now, I can make it a point to laugh at myself in a talk. Phew! After we returned from East Asia, I realized that I have been avoiding giving talks because I hate the preparation stage. (Aside from the fact that I've been tied up with two kids to care for.) But if the prep is done for me, like those great NLTC training lessons, it's not so hard to switch an illustration or two. The stress of figuring out the main point is my achilles heel.

So I decided I'm getting over this barrier and just taking on talks if the opportunity presents itself. I've heard it put this way before, I don't ever want to say no to opportunities to serve God because of fear or anxiety. So I don't want to turn down or avoid speaking if I have to tell someone, "no thanks, it gives me too much anxiety." But if I really don't have the time to do it, I can still say no.